Uncommonly Silent Night

"Then when Herod saw that he had been tricked by the magi, he became very enraged, and sent and slew all the male children who were in Bethlehem and all its vicinity, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the magi. Then what had been spoken through Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: 'A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning. Rachel weeping for her children; and she refused to be comforted, because they were no more'."
(Matthew 2:16-18)

Jesus enters the world in this little town of Bethlehem, born in a stable, the ultimate humble and lowly station for the Lord Incarnate. Angels herald his birth and shepherds leave their fields to come see what the angels have spoke of - this peace on earth and goodwill for men. Mary, surrounded by gold and frankincense and myrrh has treasured in her heart the voice of the angel and the gifts of the magi and the worship of those brought into the celebration of his birth. Mary saw the reaction of those in the temple at his circumcision who rejoiced knowing the promised Savior had come.

And then it all changes.

Joseph is warned to go to Egypt with his family to save Jesus from Herod's wrath. There is no time to enjoy this bundle of joy as a new family. They are on the run and live in exile in the earliest years of Jesus' life.  In the midst of the joy and celebration of his birth, the very real danger of his life has immediately begun. Jesus, who will be hung on a cross like a common criminal, not only enters the world as a helpless baby, but as one who is immediately in mortal danger. Not only was he born in a stable, he couldn't grow up at his hometown for fear of his life.

I've often wondered what it was like to be Mary. I imagine a woman with great loneliness in her life. The whispers as the child grows within her, even though she has no husband. The glances when they return from Egypt, knowing that all the families in the area of Bethlehem have no sons to grow in wisdom and stature. The conversations in the caravan of people having heard that young Jesus was staying in "His father's house" (the temple) after the Passover feast instead of coming home with his parents. And then later, a young widow, watching her son leave his home and roam the countryside preaching and teaching and healing, ridiculed by his own town while the Pharisees plot his death.

How many silent nights did Mary lay awake praying for peace and strength to raise this son God had given her?

While we normally focus on the angels and presents, joining the joy and merriment, Jesus was born into a broken world, into controversy and danger, into poverty and homelessness. The King of kings and Lord of lords has no throne, no kingdom, no palace, no people, no guards to protect him, no land to call his own.

When God says, "Immanuel" - "I am with you" - He is saying: I am with you when you can't sleep because the weight of the world is on your shoulders. I am with you when the enemy is closing in. I am with you when you have no home, no stability, no peace. I am with you in your silent nights and I am with you in your loneliness. I left the glory of heaven and entered into the struggle and pain to be with you here and now.

It's not always easy to experience the joy of Christmas. Life sometimes gets in the way. But the angels didn't bring tidings of comfort and joy to a people already basking in glory. They brought tidings of comfort and joy to the lost and the broken; to the poor, nomadic shepherds who were also going to sleep with the animals that night. We don't put on a fake smile and call it joy because it's that season. We come weary, broken, lonely, poor and needy. There is nothing more real on Christmas than the pain of the world. It is this pain that Christ came to heal.

The prophet Jeremiah, immediately after the verses quoted by Matthew above, gives more than just a picture of pain and sorrow. Jeremiah writes:
"Thus says the Lord, 'Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded, and they will return from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future and your children will return to their own territory." (Jer 31:16-17)

When Jesus states "I did not come to call the righteous, but the sinners" (Matt 9:13b) it makes me think that Christmas isn't really for the joyful. Christmas is for the restless. For the doubting. For the troubled. Christmas is to see with fresh eyes our neediness and find all the joy and hope and peace right there in the midst of the toil and hurt. Christmas says that God is with us in the here and now, just as we are.

This is truly good news - and makes the darkest night seem merry and bright.

Uncommon Brokeness

My worst nightmare came true today.

After being gone from Crossfit Uncommon for 6 weeks straight, I felt I had conquered my fear when I returned on Tuesday. It was a great workout, the people were amazing and I left with an endorphin rush unparalleled to anything I had experienced lately. I felt confident and the great type of soreness when I walked up and down stairs. I earned this ache! I was excited to go back this morning and thought "Yes, the fear is gone and I can focus on making progress again."

This morning, while we drove across town,  I mentally noted the lack of butterflies in my stomach and thought I was really making progress mentally and emotionally - not just rebuilding strength physically. I hopped on a rower and felt strong with each pull. It was everything I wanted Crossfit to be. Even the group warm-up had me in a good mood because my aches from Tuesday slowly melted as my muscles were stretched and warm.

The first part of the workout was challenging. Lunges are hard and sometimes cause some aches in my knees, but I concentrated on each movement, really trying to set aside my preconceived notions of what was "hard" or "uncomfortable". There were only a few other people there and I had plenty of space to mentally zero in on what I needed to do. I felt good.

And then came the second part of the workout...

Partnered with my husband, we were alternating rounds of kettlebell swings and wallballs for 5 rounds each. It didn't sound that bad. I already felt tired, but I knew I had just five rounds of activity before I could put my time on the board and record today's workout as another small victory in my journey towards a better version of myself. Round 1 - the tiredness is catching up with me and I'm feeling tired. Round 2 - each movement is hard and I'm counting down reps in my head, silently urging myself to keep going a little longer.

Round 3 - I break.

All I needed was 15 wallballs, but by the 6th or 7th there are tears streaming down my face. I keep throwing the ball in the air, crying harder and harder until eventually I sit down sobbing. My body doesn't want to move, but it really wasn't a physical problem. The tiredness of my body revealed the true fear of my mind - that I can't cut it. That I'm not uncommon after all. That everyone is going to see the phony I am know that I simply don't have the strength to keep up with these titans surrounding me.

I collapse in tears and the nightmare is true - I've broken, surrounded by the people I respect most. I'm laid bare before the people I want to impress. I might as well be naked. Actually, I might have preferred being physically naked to being so emotionally exposed.

While my life is diverse and there are many things that shape me, I write about my cross fit experience because the whole re-evaluation of my life is based on the simple question - what does it mean to be uncommon? It isn't about physical fitness or Olympic weightlifting or being extreme for the sake of being extreme. Greg Glassman once described the cross fit athlete as a "better beautiful". Being the best version of yourself that you can be. It's a different way of thinking. A different approach to life. Pretty much any area in life can be examined by asking how you can optimize each area to be the ultimate version of yourself - without comparison to anyone else. Our pop culture provides measuring sticks for success, popularity, appearance, family/life balance, monetary gain and every other area of life. Want to feel unfulfilled and under-accomplished? Hop on Facebook and compare yourself to the air-brushed lives of your friends and acquaintances.

Social media is all about controlling the version other people see of you through pictures of happy kids, "pinning" fun crafts, posting funny cartoons and "liking" other people's success. We build cyberwalls of perfected images that meet what society has deemed acceptable. Brokenness is the enemy of image building and our society has a cornucopia of applications to build the best image of ourselves.

Being uncommon is different. Being uncommon says "forget image, actually become the best version of yourself." To do this, you have to be willing to break. Only once you have the honesty of reaching your limits can you truly extend beyond them.

Richard Rohr writes "self made people will try to manufacture an even stronger self by willpower and determination to put them back in charge and seeming control.....Eventually this game is unstable." Uncommon brokenness is being exposed in a community that accepts your brokenness as a current state without any bearing on your character or your future. You don't manufacturer a stronger self by individual willpower. To truly become the best version of yourself, you must be in community. A community of people willing to enter into your brokenness and encourage you into a place beyond the limits you have previously known. On our own, we hit our limit and stop. That's why we call them limits. We can use goal theory to push ourselves towards higher levels of achievement but we all have the place where we will just sit down and cry. Metaphorically or (even worse) physically.

It's only when someone is willing to walk up to you and tell you to keep going that you can truly go beyond what you thought was possible. Today, that some one was Crystal. And Tim. And Paul. And Jeremiah. And David. Those who cheered me on through the last rounds of wallballs even when the tears were still streaming down my cheeks.

Today was a PR for me. Not in any one activity - but in finding a place within myself that can keep going when I never would on my own. And I'm not afraid to be broken anymore.

What makes us Uncommon?

Date	Weight	Fat %	BMI
11/10/15	200.2 lbs	35.30%	30.6
11/17/15	201.6 lbs	33.30%	30.9
11/25/15	199.8 lbs	32.70%	30.5
12/1/15	202.4 lbs	33.30%	31.0

What makes something uncommon?

I went back to the box after being gone for 6 weeks. Six weeks of busy days, exhausting schedules, sinus infections, traveling and holidays. Six weeks of excuses. Six weeks to have my mind twist lies about my life which led me to a path of nearly paralyzing fear. Despite all that I had proclaimed about my love of crossfit and my goals for the future, the fear had me tangled up inside to the point that I truly though I was going to vomit on the drive across town. 

But I am not alone in this struggle against the inner voices and anxious thoughts.

It was fear that made Adam and Eve hide in the garden, voluntarily separating themselves from God.

It was fear that caused Abraham to take Haggar and refuse to wait on God's timing for the promised heir.

It was fear that caused the Israelites to walk around in the desert instead of entering the promise land that God had given them.

It was fear that made Saul sacrifice on his own instead of obeying Samuel's instructions. 

Fear drove Jonah into the belly of a great fish and fear led Peter to deny Jesus 3 times on the night of His arrest.

Fear tells us lies, amplifies our emotions and leads us away from what we know to be true. 

Our very nature seems to embrace fear as if it were our friend - good ol' fear will keep us safe. Fear will keep us venturing too far out into the unknown. Fear will keep us from being honest with ourselves and with others and can keep us from getting hurt. Fear will reassure us that we can't win, shouldn't try and never will succeed. Fear keeps our world small and makes it smaller with each passing day, as we learn new things to avoid, people to never trust again, cataloguing hurts and slights along the way. Fear will always keep us company. And we will eventually be alone.

But God tells us again and again not to be afraid, as He compassionately acknowledges our fragile emotional state and tries to remind us of the truth. God calls us out in faith, calls us into community, tells us to rely on His strength and desires to supply us with His grace. 

Crossfit Uncommon is uncommon because it is a group of people together facing their fears and pushing past them. It is a community that looks to build one another up and cheer each other on - celebrating every small victory over fear. It is a place where fear is acknowledged but holds no power over what we will do - what we will try - where we will go - what we can accomplish. 

Fear has no power in an Uncommon Nation.

Those numbers at the top scare me....until I notice one thing true. Those dates are all in the past. Those numbers are what were. Those figures are true about what was but have no bearing on what will be. And there is no reason to fear what the future will hold....

Uncommon Comfort

"Comfort, O comfort My people" says your God. (Is 40:1)

The holiday season can bring a sense of melancholy for so many. Whether it's missing those who are far away, those who have passed or simply not being the joyful person you feel like you ought to be, we have all experienced the holiday blues at some point.

Charlie Brown tells Linus at the beginning of A Charlie Brown Christmas, "I think there might be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel."

I think the reason this movie has remained a classic for so many generations is that we all have those Charlie Brown moments - wanting to feel the way we know we are supposed to feel - and yet, it seems so elusive at times. This tension, whether we admit it or not, is a tension of the "no longer but not yet" existence we continue to experience.

This is expressed beautifully in the christmas hymn, O Come O Come Emmanuel:
O come Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee O Israel

The Dayspring is the light that is promised in Isaiah 60 and Malachi 4. It is the promised Messiah, whom the angels herald and the wise men sought. It is the fulfillment of all God promised when He said through the prophet Jeremiah that He would be our God and we would all know Him (Jer 31).

No longer do we shiver in the darkness that surrounds the world. We find ourselves with eternal lights in our souls shielding us from the oppression of night.

Any yet....

We are in the night. We are in darkness. We are in the tension. We are no longer, but not yet.

Jesus says "I Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright and morning star (or "dayspring")." Rev 22:16

He is the one whose advent brings us cheer and disperses the clouds of night. But He also understands where we are right now. He walked this earth and allowed Himself - O Light and Life Eternal - allowed Himself to be swallowed by the darkness so that He could be our source of comfort and peace. "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:15-16)

Our response is also given. "The Spirit and the bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come". And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water without cost." (Rev 22:17)

Like Charlie Brown, we think we are supposed to be happy this time of year, having a "holly, jolly Christmas" wishing  everyone  to "have a merry little christmas". The common response is to paint on a happy face and repress the moments that chill our spine or feel weighty or downright sad. The superficial smile makes us less like Christ - not more joyful.

Our Savior walked this broken earth not only to bring us His light, but to be with us in the darkness. He wants us to cry out "Come", with the faith that He is the anchor for our soul. In some ways, the melancholy is more appropriate than unfettered joy. We can sing "Joy to the world, the Savior reigns" but we can also sing "And in despair I bowed my head. There is not peace on earth I said. For hate is strong and mars the song of peace on earth, goodwill to men."

In the official Disney definitions of emotions from the amazing movie Inside Out, "melancholy" is that blue and yellow ball representing the mix of joy and sadness at once. Life is too complicated to try to define how we feel in binary emotions - either happy or sad. The uncommon comfort is not trying to be happy, but allowing ourselves to be melancholy and know that Christ fully enters into that state with us.

Emmanuel, God with us, means that God is here in this moment of tension and heartache. He is in this moment of sadness and disappointment. He is in this moment of loneliness and sorrow.

May we all walk with each other in uncommonly comforting ways this advent season. If we can do that faithfully for each other,  it truly will be the most wonderful time of the year.

Uncommon Advent

Date	Weight	Fat %	BMI
11/10/15	200.2 lbs	35.30%	30.6
11/17/15	201.6 lbs	33.30%	30.9
11/25/15	199.8 lbs	32.70%	30.5

Our Christmas tree is up and the house is decorated. This is a little late compared to our normal schedule, but it makes me happy nonetheless. All the holiday decor has me thinking about the coming advent season. I find it interesting that our secular society continues to find so much joy in preparing for Christmas. Sure, it's a commercial endeavor for most, but the excitement exists regardless of people's stated faith. And yet....

If Christ was just a wise man, a teacher, a prophet or a fable, we wouldn't have a month of preparation, federal days off, school on break for weeks and a frenzy of food, gifts, activities, performances and concerts. No one puts on the "George Washington Spectacular on Ice". I have never received a President's Day present. And even though this wouldn't be a bad idea, I don't gather the kids around the fireplace to read Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech on the anniversary of his birth or death. You can write your doctorate on Julius Caesar, Plato or Alexander the Great. You can spend your life studying artifacts of ancient times and putting them in museums. History is full of the legacies of great and awful men, yet no one else on the planet, regardless of time or place, is celebrated the way Christ is celebrated. 

It doesn't make sense. If he was just a famous guy, he could still have a day and a history lesson in school. But no one hands out tracks trying to convince you to spend more time reading the work of Aristotle. If he was just an influential figure of the past, he would be a subject of academic interest, not the one followed by millions around the globe, thousands of years after his death. Christmas is meaningless without the cross.

So lets add the cross into the picture. What changes?

If I truly believe I have access to the Creator of heaven and Earth - direct communication with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords - love from Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace - then shouldn't my life look different? This view of Christ is wildly different than most people who are walking the earth today. If I believe that the God of the Universe loves and cares for me and is directly involved with my life, shouldn't everything be impacted by that?

Most of us in Christian circles pray occasionally, go to church regularly, volunteer in activities and listen to christian radio. We read the bible or devotionals and consider if it's applicable to our lives. We hope God will bless our efforts and try be good. We unintentionally think of God as a jeannie or Santa Claus and hope He gives us what we want in return for our small acts of worship and goodness.

But Paul didn't see it that way. He writes in 1 Corinthians 15 that if Jesus wasn't actually raised from the dead then we are still in our sin and we are to be pitied. If our faith is just something to get us through this life, then we are lost. We are fools. But, if our faith is real, then "to live is Christ and to die is gain". This is the Christ that Matthew and Peter and all the other disciples left their homes and jobs and lives to follow for 3 years, only to spend the rest of their lives spreading the word and most of them dying as martyrs. 

To live as if Christ is King is to make every breathe worship and every word a prayer. It is to live with Scripture as the highest authority over my life. It is to give each day completely to His will and purposes, believing they are His best for me. 

And it is to live into the promise of His mercy and love. 

It is experiencing His pleasure over me, no matter how I view myself. It is leaning on His wisdom in all things, and never having to feel overwhelmed. It is being so completely at peace with my identity in Him that I am free to do my best and fail, love others and be rejected and spend my entire existence serving with nothing to show for my work. 

The journey of advent is not about preparing our hearts to greet a baby in a manger. It's about living into the reality that the great I AM is here with us. Immanuel. And if that is true, then nothing should ever look the same again.

Uncommon Year

Today Purdue and Ivy Tech hosted an event at the Union for supply chain and technology students. We held this same event one year ago.

Last year, at this time, I was still the Dean at Ivy Tech, working 70+ hour weeks, traveling 2+ weeks each month, completely disconnected from my friends, family and even my husband and kids. I was literally sick with stress, having chronic infections, pain and migraines. My son was battling with spiritual oppression and our whole household was uneasy. I was wrestling depression, hopelessness and a sense of futility in my work and home life. Our church situation was difficult and we felt completely disconnected from the body of Christ. The best thing in our life was crossfit uncommon and I was almost never able to go to the one place that encouraged me. 

I went to this event in 2014 and spent time speaking to a colleague, Dr. Chad Laux, about what a path out of my current profession and into some other position (such as working in a staff role at Purdue could look like). He was very encouraging and I felt like there was actually a future for me that was in a healthy and balanced direction. There was no plan in place but I knew life couldn't continue the way it had been.

A few weeks later, everything changed.

I left my career at Ivy Tech and enrolled as a full time grad student at Purdue. Within a few days of making the decision, I had a part time job offer at Ivy Tech that would help supplement my income. By early spring, we had changed churches and were connecting better in that community. Our home life transformed with my ability to be home and not have to travel as much. I rekindled friendships and took part in life-giving activities that had been absent in my world for years. We found a small group that has already become family to us. My health dramatically improved and so did my mental and emotional well being. It was like a new life.

As I've been studying Job again, I see myself feeling sorry for his relationship with God. He feared God in the Old Testament sense of the word. He knew God was holy and above all creation, answering to no one. While he believed in his own righteousness, there was no framework for him to understand the concept of an intimate loving God during times of crisis. Either God dealt harshly with sinners and favored the righteous - or God treated all men with distain or apathy. Job had a good view of God's holiness but no real concept of God's mercy. His view of God didn't work when everything went wrong. And his "health and wealth" advice-giving friends were no comfort. 

But there is another view of God to serve as a framework for us today. This is the view of a Father so loving that He will Himself come down to save us even when we are rejecting Him. This is a Lord and Savior - perfectly holy and infinitely merciful and gracious. This is a God who walked into hell and back out, so that we could be with Him forever. 

I don't deserve the graciousness God has provided this past year. But I also didn't deserve His amazing presence with me the years before. God has always provided all of our needs - but so much more than the physical, never once, have we ever walked alone. Job didn't know what it was like to be loved. He thought he had earned God's favor through works - Job didn't know the meaning of grace. 

I cannot comprehend the multitude of ways God has interceded in my life and turned things around. Far less can I comprehend the amazing way He held me through that long period of toil and struggle. 

I simply cannot fathom the character of the God who loves me this much - but I know He is here. And this year, more than ever before, I am thankful.

Uncommon Death

Date	Weight	Fat %	BMI
11/10/15	200.2 lbs	35.30%	30.6
11/17/15	201.6 lbs	33.30%	30.9

 The truth is ugly, but there you go. It needed to be put down in black and white and theoretically anyone on the planet could view what I used to consider top secret information. I wrote last time about uncommon friends holding me accountable, but the first step is being accountable to myself. I hadn't weighed myself in eons, so on the morning of November 10th, I was't really sure what I would see. I spent the next week at a conference eating carbs, drinking beer and sitting in uncomfortable chairs all week. I didn't know what to expect on Tuesday, but I knew it wouldn't be good. It wasn't.

I don't have a goal weight or BMI or fat percentage. I actually am very proud of divorcing my self image from the numbers reported above. However, I do have multiple goals for my future activities. I'm planning on a marathon next November and a mini-triathlon in April. David and I have plans for a hiking trip in March where we would backpack over 10 miles a day for 3-4 days in a row. Every pound of fat I carry on my body is one more pound of force on my knees when I run; one more pound that gets pulled up and down the mountain; one more pound of resistance in the water when I swim. It isn't about a weight - it's about a lifestyle.

While my weight isn't my focus for an uncommon life, it can serve as an excellent barometer for my life activities. When I live without margin, I eat poorly and I rarely exercise. On the days exercise makes my to-do list, it is the first thing to be pushed off the list to make room for the inevitable change in schedule or crisis of the moment. Yesterday's inevitable change was my daughter asking me to play piano with her. There isn't a single moment I regretted for playing with her, instead of doing push-ups and air squats. But in the uncommon life I've been aiming for, there is enough buffer in my schedule that I can make room to talk to my son, play piano with my daughter or help a friend in need without sacrificing the things I know are good for me - that support my goals for a healthy and active life. So every Tuesday, I will add to this chart and publish it for all to see. I won't always write about it - but I feel like I have struggled with my weight and self-image long enough that it deserves some attention. 

The process of meeting these activity goals requires short-term sacrifice for long term gain. It means I give up the good to pursue the great. It means I say no to myself in the moment to say yes to the next step in the journey. Kristen Armstrong talks about her process of forgiving her unfaithful husband (THE Lance Armstrong) saying that she had to first act gracious before she actually felt gracious. She said " I can act my way into a feeling a lot more easily than I can feel my way into an action." This is an uncommon lifestyle - to choose to act in the direction you want to go, even when you don't feel like it or don't want to. This is echoed by a phenomenal Franciscan priest who takes it one step further, acknowledging that our will is not strong enough to move us into these actions - especially when we don't feel like it. Father Rohr writes "You don't become more charitable by saying to yourself, 'Be charitable'. You actually become more charitable by noticing when you are not being charitable and "weeping" over it." 

It is coming toe to toe with the places we fail and identifying the need to change that allows us to actually turn into a new way of being.

Cardinal Newman said "To live is to change and to be perfect is to have changed often." This spiritual dying to oneself is the key to an uncommon life. For a believer, change comes through the Holy Spirit helping us to die to ourselves and live into the righteousness of Christ. Less of me - more of Him. This uncommon death sees that only though dying to oneself can we truly live. My first blog quoted Jesus offering abundant life. But we cannot claim the life He offers when holding tightly to the one we have created for ourselves. I must die to the life I built up to claim the life He graciously gives me. And dying is hard.

I watched my grandmother die. She was the strongest woman I have ever known. She was a gracious, forgiving, patient woman of Christ who lived a life dying to herself - letting go of aspirations; releasing her hand from unmet expectations in marriage; confronting mistakes with a tenacious humility. She was willing to continually die to herself with the desire to live more deeply into the blessings God had for her in this life. And as her body failed her day after day, she became closer and closer to living the most abundant life in heaven with Christ. When she accepted Christ as a child, she was born again into a physical life of dying to herself through the Holy Spirit. And then, when she physically died, she was born again into an eternity of peace. These uncommon deaths were only the beginning.

It begins with the humble desire of recognizing the places my heart clings to the common (because it feels so comfortable and cozy and familiar) and embracing my powerlessness. From this empty hand and bent knee, I can ask for the Holy Spirit to give me the ability to turn from what was and die to the old, living into new life. I won't feel like it at first. It will be uncomfortable and new. It will make me face the dark places of my life and idols of my heart. 

But from this place of death, I can move towards the uncommon life.

Uncommon Friends

No one walks any road truly alone. We may have villains we have fought or tried to outrun or faithful friends who have traveled with us - but no one walks alone. An uncommon journey must have uncommon friends to accompany us. I think of JRR Tolkien's "Fellowship of the Ring" where Frodo is running off to certain danger, having left the fellowship of his friends behind. Frodo realizes how dangerous the road is becoming and decides to go on his own to save his friends. Samwise Gamgee, his companion from the beginning, sees him traveling by boat and follows by foot into the water, even though he can't swim. Frodo shouts back to him "Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone." Sam replies, "Of course you are, and I'm coming with you."

This is hands-down my favorite line of an uncommon friend ever penned to a page. Sam realizes two things - Frodo is trying to go off on his own AND Sam cannot let that happen.

In uncommon journeys, where the road is twisting and covered in branches; where there are dangers to face and certainly more danger unknown lurking in the distance; where the road often seems to be facing a steep grade upwards and holds few places to rest. Here, in these uncommon journeys, traveling partners are few. Many join us in the open wide spaces of rest and beauty. By the streams and blooming trees, it is easy to find company. But in the dark, hard places of life, friends become few and far between. Frodo knows that as much as he loves a few of his fellowship, the full group cannot make the journey with him. And like Frodo, our own lives have fellowships of people traveling by our side. Some are closer than family. Some are simply along the same road because of similar goals. And some remain nearby, even though you wish they would leave. The Uncommon Journey does not have room for this many travelers. And so, the empty road before you seems like a call to isolation. A call into difficulty or challenge which must be met in our own strength.

And then there's Sam.

Sam realizes Frodo's bravery (and foolish pride) in running off alone. Sam's commitment to his friend is more important than even Frodo's own wishes. Sam can see that whether Frodo wants it or not, the journey is not meant to be done alone. Sam chooses to put himself in harms way by following a dangerous path. But Frodo puts himself in more harm by not asking Sam to come along. Sam saves Frodo from himself. (And for those who know the stories, this is not the last time Sam will have to do so.) Sam is an uncommon friend who sees friendship as the quest. Frodo's quest was to destroy the ring. Sam's quest was to save Frodo.

Your uncommon friends do not have to share the same quest to be willing to walk it with you. And your uncommon friends will not be the ones who always tell you what you want to hear.

Uncommon friends hold you accountable to yourself. They reflect a truer version of reality - a deeper reality and are willing to push forward when others pull back. Uncommon friends say the words that hurt and heal all in the same sentence. When Sam replies "of course you are, and I'm coming with you" he is both affirming and contracting Frodo all at the same time. He is making a bigger commitment to Frodo that Frodo wanted to receive. He is revealing the truth of the nature of the task that Frodo didn't want to admit. He is loving Frodo beyond what Frodo was able to accept.

Some of us are blessed to have uncommon friends in our spouses. I have a husband who walks each road with me, no matter how hard the climb. And yet, I am even more blessed to have some uncommon friends who will enter into this journey in a different kind of love. A love of accountability. A love of truth-telling. A love of reflecting my failings not to discourage me, but to support me as I reach for something more. An uncommon friend won't let you give up.

At the culminating moment of the journey to destroy the ring, Frodo collapses. He simply can't move on. Sam picks him up saying ""I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you."

Sam's mission was not to destroy the ring but to support Frodo. When it looked like Frodo might fail, Sam didn't let him give up or back down. He is willing to physically carry him forward. This is the ultimate act of the uncommon friend. The uncommon friend sees past the momentary discomfort or hardship and moves you forward when you have no power left in yourself.

Our world is a culture of excuses and exceptions. In the name of self-esteem, everyone is a winner and everyone receives the prize. When life gets too tough, we are surrounded by media full of reasons why it really wasn't reasonable to keep going. Failure is replaced with nearly infinite partial credit. The fatal flaw in this logic is that what seems like love and encouragement eventually gives way to a list of "might-have-beens" and "wish I had".  The uncommon friend is willing to have you get mad at them for the sake of your best.

I am thankful to already be able to picture the few faces who may be with me on this journey. I hope that I am willing to serve them in the same way they have so faithfully walked with me.

We all get the same 24 hours in a day....

I'm at a conference for technology and met with an amazing group of women this morning in a "Women in Technology" sub-group. During the introductions, quick connections were made in common themes of our research and our lives. Many of us either had or were pursuing PhD's, while working at least part time and married, most with children still living at home. Comments on the number of projects left undone sitting on our desks, having more ideas than time to work, feeling stretched beyond capacity and recognizing the lack of personal time were all echoed throughout the room. One woman wished she had more than 24 hours in a day. One woman wished she could just live without sleep. One woman wanted a "time-turner" like Hermoine had in the Harry Potter series. I made the observation to the group that no matter how many hours we added to our day, we would still be overwhelmed, overextended, with projects left unfinished or barely started. The group laughed and we changed topics, but I was very serious. Time is not the problem. How we manage our time is the issue.

I was in a room with amazing, brilliant, successful women but this issue impacts both genders - we don't give ourselves enough time and space to be people. It isn't just a problem of maintaining a work/life balance anymore. It isn't simply adding up our to-do lists and seeing we have 28 hours of life packed into a 24 hour day. We live in a over-stimulated, information filled society that makes space, time and silence so rare that they are uncomfortable. My pastor was preaching on the idea of rest, commenting how people can't stand in a line without looking at their phones. So I tried. I stood in a Starbucks line and willed myself not to look at my phone. I was successful - there were 2 TVs, a radio playing music and a person with a cell phone screen so large I could easily read the news article on their screen while maintaining the social etiquette for personal space. I didn't need my phone to distract me - I simply had to have my eyes open in the room.

However, it was this recent drive to Pittsburg - over 6 hours in a car by myself - that started me formalizing the Uncommon Journey. While many of these thoughts have flitted through my brain for months or even years, it wasn't until I had over 6 hours of alone time that I could create a substantial plan for the journey. I needed alone time.

But we need more than just alone time. This isn't 15 minutes to put in your planner. We need extended time without distraction to experience a level of focus that is nearly extinct in our society. The first hour of the drive, I had background music on and I was processing my morning, the drive, the timeline for my trip, the to-do list for the week, and a million other thoughts. After that hour, I was finally relaxed enough to simply hear the music I was listening to in the car. After about an hour and a half of listening to music (now 2.5 hours into my alone time) I actually began to have focused thoughts. The bits and pieces that had been flying through my brain were now ordered and I could approach them, one at a time, and actually experience a time of relaxed focus.

Our society isn't bad a time management. We are bad at sustained focus. Living in perpetual fragmented thought is common.

To achieve my goals doesn't require more time in the day - it requires less on my list.
To exercise my gifts and talents doesn't require me to join one more thing - it requires me to leave everything else.

Some have defined insanity by doing the same things but expecting different results. Well, I am certifiable when in comes to time management. I keep thinking a new planner, a new schedule, a more rigid structure will help me meet my goals. And it fails. Every single time.

I need to do less to move along on this Uncommon Journey, not more.

While I can't drive to Pittsburg every time I need to think, I can retrain myself in how I look at each day. Maybe with unscheduled blocks of time that are fiercely protected will make it possible for me to have a focused thought without a 2.5 hour lead time. Maybe built in times of silence and solace can retrain thoughts to stop whizzing through my head and instead remain stationary until I can process them. Maybe sustained activity, focused in one direction, can help make those moments feel more natural and come more easily.

It will mean less of things I like.

It will mean saying no. Or maybe saying, not now. But not everything I enjoy (or am good at, or have done in the past, etc, etc) aren't all the most important things to me now. Changing seasons of life doesn't mean perpetually adding responsibilities to my list. Changing seasons in life means that some things get carefully packed away, clearly labeled, and placed at the back of the closet in my mind, to wait until it is time to pull them out again. Just as my closet can't fit all four seasons worth of clothes at one time, my brain can't process being all things to all people at one time. I can't be all versions of myself, no matter how good or successful or important I think they are, simultaneously.

The Uncommon Journey is the road less traveled. And it is only one road, not a curly-q of meandering paths and tangential trips.

Nichole Nordeman, in her song "Brave", begins "The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation. The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in. Welcome to the middle ground, it's safe and sound and until now it's where I've lived." We all live here. This is common.

The Uncommon Journey is narrow and covered with fallen leaves and twigs and overgrown bushes. It's uphill and you can't see the end from where you stand. But, oh, to see with fresh eyes the world around me and the purpose of each day. To hear the falling leaves, the chirping birds, the quiet breeze. To notice how the light creates shadow and feel the coolness of standing in the shade. To sit. To breathe.

Is there really anything better than this for at least a few of those 24 hours we are given?

Common is Easy

About a year ago I joined a CrossFit box, Cross Fit Uncommon. In their introduction, the owner of the Box writes: "A healthy productive life is one that is intentionally created. No one happens across great range of motion or strength, throughout the entirety of their lives without making some conscious decisions to hone those skills. "

Something about that statement stuck with me, even as I failed to grasp how profound the "uncommon" lifestyle would be. It was only recently that I started to see how common life becomes when it isn't intentionally created. Beyond health and fitness, all of our existence tends to gravitate towards the path of least resistance without us even noticing. The idea of intentionally creating our life for more is something echoed in the bible in countless passages. One of my favorites comes from Hebrews where the author writes in chapter 12 verse 1, "let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us".  Galatians 5:1 says, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

Both of these verses give a picture that there are two paths - one which comes naturally and easily and can entangle or enslave us. A second, which we are made capable of choosing in Christ, which requires effort on our part - standing firm, running the race. So every follower of Christ, regardless of what passions He has put on your heart or gifts He has given you, is called out of the normal into something intentional and purposeful. Jesus says in John 10:10, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

This Uncommon Journey is about more than what we experience all around us. It is more than what the world offers us. It is more than what come naturally to us. It is intentional living a life more abundantly than what we could ever find in our own power. But to experience this life is more than just setting lofty goals or congratulating each other on new-found freedom. It's even more than breaking free from the bondage of sin and our past baggage that holds us down. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9: 24-27, " Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 

Paul sees that living life abundantly happens through self-discipline and an attitude that is pursuing victory. He knows that simply plodding through life is not enough. It is intentional and purposeful living that moves us closer to the life Christ intended us to live. It is through discipline and self control that we can experience the fullness of life and the blessings He wants for us.

So what is common in my life?

- Common is choosing what is easy and comfortable and familiar instead of choosing what is possible through hard work.- Common is eating and drinking what I enjoy, knowing full well it holds me back from what I know is good and healthy.- Common is spreading myself too thin because I hate saying no and I'm afraid of what people will think if I don't join in with what everyone else is doing.- Common is trying to earn my acceptance before God and before others by constantly being busy and trying to produce more.- Common is longing for the destination but dreading the journey.- Common is vision without discipline...

This blog is a catalog of the uncommon journey. The road of effort and work with joy - of discipline and integrity - of pursuing the great instead of embracing the good.

Welcome to the Uncommon Journey.