Uncommon Wealth

Yesterday was my 38th birthday. I must admit, it was one of the best birthdays I have ever had in my life. The day started waking up to a beautiful 70 degree morning with a perfectly blue sky and a view of desert blooms and cacti growing over the hills surrounding us. We then discovered an amazing breakfast nook, enjoyed a spring training game of the Cubs and then ate dinner outdoors (again with that perfect 70 degree weather and slight breeze) with the view of the desert during dusk and the "world famous" fountain of fountain hills. Driving through the townships surrounding Phoenix, you can see amazing wealth of palatial homes and poverty of crowded trailer parks with barely the space to breathe between one mobile home to the next. Between the people struggling to find work and those who have retired into a life of luxury, David and I enjoyed a day that is probably one of the most perfect days of my life.

Over the past few months, I have become more and more aware of my incredible wealth in this life. Between studying about deep intimacy with the Holy Spirit and diving ever more deeply into the love of God described in 1 Corinthians 13, I have experienced a type of awakening to the reality of my life. In the normal day to day habits of work and chores and disciplining kids, it can be easy to overlook the blessings that infuse each day. At the beginning of January, I very intentionally pursued seeing God move in the every day of life. I wanted a better understanding of what it meant to experience the "life to the full" that Jesus intends for His people. I knew the indwelling of the Spirit was supposed to be more than the few moments of peace and reflection during my daily quiet time. God promised His continual presence and I wanted to know what that tangibly looked like in an overfilled schedule of modern day America. 

In Ephesians 3, Paul writes : For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (Eph 3:14-19)

This amazing passage has been described by Tim Keller as a passage to instruct us on how to meditate on the richness of God's love. That we would examine God's love to try to explore its breadth, and length and height and depth. The picture I always imagine comes from sitting on the balcony of a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, when you can't see any other land. How could one possible measure the depths and breath of such vastness? How could one ever fully comprehend all that it holds and the depths beyond where we can see? Like that ocean, God's love is endless - it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13:7). 

This uncommon wealth comes from the riches of His glory - an endowment from God Almighty to His beloved children. His desire is to strengthen our inner selves to better be filled with the fullness of His love. We are incapable of experiencing the fullness of His love without first being strengthened in our inner selves. And that is the journey I have enjoyed over the past few months that led me to this moment of extraordinary gratitude and contentment. In pursuing strength and discipline and self control (through the Holy Spirit - certainly not in my own effort) God has prepared in my heart a fertile soil in which He can grow my comprehension of His love. 

This isn't that God loves me any more - for His love is always perfect and boundless. But now, He is preparing in me the ability to better receive His love. He is opening my eyes to see His graciousness in the everyday. He is softening my heart to experience His presence in the ordinary and underwhelming nature of life. He is opening my ears to hear the sweet love song He sings over me, instead of being caught up in the noise of our culture. He is stripping away the walls that have held Him at arms distance, to better experience His embrace.

We must first be strengthened or we would collapse under the substantial weightiness of His perfect love. Like Moses in the cleft of the rock, we must be shielded from the glory of God, until the day comes where we are made like Him and can see Him face to face. This world is filled with things and stuff that distract us, entertain us, please us, fill us, disappoint us, hurt us and always, whether seemingly good or bad, leave us empty and wanting more. But God has a richness that cannot be measured on a balance sheet or bank account. The supernatural glory of His love is beyond what anything made with human hands can contain. Even our own spirits, made in the nature of God Himself, cannot fully experience all He wants to give...yet. But as we more and more open ourselves to Him, we can know His riches, no matter where life has you now.

May you know God's rich love even more deeply today....

Uncommon Losses

The challenge ended last night. For the record:Pre challenge-206.4 lbsBMI 31.6Body fat 34.2Hips 48.125Waist 43.25Workout score - 93
Post challenge-196.2 lbsBMI 30Body fat 31.1Hips 46Waist 41.25Workout score - 127


At this moment, with 26 competitors reporting their scores, I am sitting in first place for this challenge. The initial victory is that I even finished the challenge, because I have never done that before. I've always given up at the point that it felt hopeless. I would give in to momentary desires (more sleep, more TV, more food, more wine) and ignore my long term goals. And so I sat in limbo, knowing that I wanted to change and feeling incapable of doing so. The thing is, everyone who took part in the challenge is better than me in some way. I didn't win by being the best - I won by being my best. 

We ask our kids, who struggle with being motivated for homework, "did you do your best work". We already know the answer and so do they, but saying the question out loud forces them to admit that they could have put in more effort. I too, needed to force myself to say that I wasn't working as hard as I could. Even in this challenge, I had lazy days and ate a few foods that I shouldn't have. It made me feel sick and lethargic. Winning the challenge feels great - but it doesn't feel nearly as great as I have felt doing the challenge. The process is the true victory.


I am so far from where I want to be and I have major goals that are still on my radar (like that sprint triathlon coming up in just a few weeks) but I am actually walking the path that will get me where I want to go. And that is new.


This path requires loss. This path requires humility. This path requires that you step out of the comfortable places that feel so cozy and put yourself in a place to fail. 


My husband is a great example of this. He is currently in the Cross Fit Open, the first part of the competition to find the fittest man and woman on earth. In this international competition, he is going toe to toe with the best of the best. They offer a less difficult workout so that more people can compete, just to be a part of the community of athletes. But if you do the reduced (scaled) version, you can't win. My husband could rock the scaled version of these workouts, but he is choosing to do the very same workout as the best athletes on earth (most of whom are at least 10 years younger than him). It isn't about winning. It's about being willing to put yourself out into a field of competitors that forces you to push beyond what you thought was possible. And I am so proud of his courage and humility - being willing to lose - to gain something greater in himself.


If you want to become more educated in a field, you have to find people smarter than you are and learn from them.


If you want to learn a new skill, you have to find people better than you and let them teach you.


If you want to be stronger than you are now, you have to find people who are stronger than you are and let them coach you.


If you want to be holier than you are now, you need to find spiritual mature believers who can be honest with you and exhort and encourage you.


There is no path to a higher plane that doesn't involve forcing yourself to move beyond where you are now and uncomfortably grow into who you can be.


Paul says in Philippians 3:8 "More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ" 


Paul had to give up his spiritual pride as a pharisee and let go of his accolades of his birthright and upbringing. To gain Christ, he had to loose himself.

Even Christ Himself gave up his throne and gave up His life to gain us. 

I've never really liked losing and for the sake of my pride, I have held back in almost every area of my life. While other people may have thought I was doing well, I rarely did my best. While other people thought I was running at a high capacity, I was never pushing myself to a place of discomfort - the place of growth. While I seemed good compared to others, its because I put myself in positions where I would't be challenge, couldn't come up short, wouldn't seem like I wasn't enough. That box was getting smaller and smaller and I knew I was feeling claustrophobic. 

This is still an uncommon journey and I have a long way to go. But I am finally willing to lose...and gaining so much in return!