The Uncommon Journey

The Uncommon Journey
Wondering as I Wander

Friday, June 24, 2016

A Few Hours of Uncommonness

Sunday I was a klutz and ended up with a badly sprained ankle. That day and the next were characterized by ice, rest, ace bandages and watching my ankle swell and turn 6 shades of purple. It wasn’t broken and thankfully, I was blessed with family who immediately dropped what they were doing to help me heal. Tuesday I had several work related meetings that had to happen, but once again was supported with people driving me places and taking care of all the household duties to minimize my time on my feet. The ankle continued to ache when I put weight on it and stairs were absolutely miserable. I began a form of limp/hopping which was tiring, but not as painful. However, Wednesday I had to travel to Orlando for work. Once again, people pitched in to make the process as easy as possible and my coworkers were very thoughtful about our schedule, giving me an extra chair to prop my foot on during the meeting and moving our meals to locations that were closer to the hotel so I didn’t have to hop so far. While my leg was feeling better, the long walks in the terminals in Orlando and Indy, carrying a heavy bag over my shoulder didn’t sound like fun. So, just like the flight from Indianapolis, I asked for a wheelchair in Orlando when I got my boarding pass. This process meant having an airline worker push me in a wheelchair through the airport (including the expedited line through security) and leaving me at the gate with a priority board pass. I would be the first on the plane, choose any seat I wanted and have a wheelchair waiting for me in Indianapolis waiting to take me to the curb. However, unlike the flight   to Indy, where I waited about 45 minutes in the chair, in Orlando I was going to wait over four hours.

Placed by the windows, I quickly saw that moving around was going to be hard. I rolled my wheelchair up to a blocked aisle way and asked the woman if she could momentarily move her things so I could get to the bathroom. Not only did she move her stuff, she offered to push me all the way to the ladies room. I quickly accepted her help and appreciated her maneuvering skills to the wider aisles of the airport. However, once positioned near the stall, she left me on my own.
I came out of the restroom and got back in my chair. Part of me knew I could hobbled around more easily than try to spend the next hours in a wheelchair, but another part of me wanted to know what it was like to experience this type of hardship, even just for a few hours.

My cousin as Cerebral Palsy and spent much of his youth in a wheelchair. As a kid, I was jealous of the attention it brought him, how he got moved to the front of the line immediately and how his therapy sounded awesome, like horseback riding and swimming. But I knew his life, which will most likely end tragically early as his body slowly shuts down, was not all about people serving him. This experiment was in no way meant to trivialize people with disabilities, but rather help me better appreciate what so many disabled people have to live with their whole lives.

First, everyone stares at you. Everyone. I’ve got an air cast on my leg, so it doesn’t take them long to figure out “what’s wrong with me” but they make no effort to disguise that they are searching for the reason I am sitting in this chair. There is a very real sense of being examined by almost everyone who walks by. Not only do they stare at you, they stare DOWN at you. Sitting in this chair, everyone expect the smallest children are taller than me. This downward gaze reflected pity, curiosity, judgment and even drew a few smirks.

Second, you have to ask for help. I rolled myself from the ladies room to the snack area, knowing I wouldn’t get to eat again until very late tonight. The aisle ways in the airport convenience store were not wide enough for my chair and I couldn’t reach anything except the shelf right at arm level. To get a  chobani yogurt, a fruit cup and a bottle of Pellegrino required me asking the clerk to get these things for me. She quickly responded as was very pleasant and helpful, but I quickly noticed that despite all the ADA laws, the stores and dining facilities within the airport were not wheelchair accessible.

This led me to another quick realization. ADA laws provide minimum requirements and most establishments tend towards that minimum. While the people who pushed my wheelchair for me were able to navigate the aisles pretty easily, wheelchairs require skill. The woman who helped push me to the bathroom bumped me into several walls and trashcans, as she was a novice at pushing wheelchairs. When I was pushing myself, I could barely navigate the bathroom aisle way and curved door. Yes, the wheelchair could technically fit, but it was by no means spacious. I was struggling to move around and wondered how fast the wheelchair learning curve is for most people.
I decided to take a trip to Starbucks. This involved wheeling myself about a quarter of a mile to the Starbucks location, at the far end of the food court. Within just a few minutes, I was tired and my arms were aching. Thankfully, I received a work phone call and got a 13 minute break while talking on the phone before moving forward. Rolling my own wheelchair meant I could only do that one thing. Both hands were occupied and my full concentration and physical effort was on my movements. I learned quickly that short rotations of the wheels was easier than long pushes and that this wheelchair favored the left side, requiring me to constantly realign towards the right to go in a straight line. While some people moved for me, there were lots of oblivious people who nearly ran into me because they were walking quickly and not looking down. At Starbucks, it was obvious that their line was not going to work for me. It wound back and forth, which would require four 180 degree turns. Even if the aisles were wide enough (which I highly doubted) I was not skilled enough to travel through them. So instead, I waited for everyone in line to clear out of the way and then rolled up through the exit. Once I ordered, I had to back up blindly, trying not to hit their shelves and signs positioned near the line to try to inspire impulse purchases. With no seating area near the Starbucks, I decided to roll all the way back to the gate and was determined to do it without stopping. I was becoming a better navigator in the chair, but once again, my arms were quickly tired and I was forming blisters on my left hand, which had to grip the wheel more tightly due to the poor alignment issues. Once back at the gate, I was happy to lock my wheels and enjoy the well-earned spoils of my efforts. My apple watch registered my accelerated heart rate and gave me exercise credit for the effort required to move just a half mile round trip. The whole trip (not including my 13 minute phone call) was 22 minutes. At least twice as long as it would have taken me if I had been walking.

Having exhausted myself, I was now content to sit and read while I waited for the boarding of my plane to begin. After another hour of just sitting and reading, I realize that the Starbucks has created a need to go back to the ladies room one more time before boarding the plane. I roll myself into the restroom to discover the handicap stall is closed. I decide that is more important that I don’t wet my pants, rather than stick to my experiment, so I go ahead and stand up and hop into a regular stall, leaving my chair in the middle of the aisle. It strikes me as a small luxury – standing. My backside feels heavy in this stiff chair with my 25 pound luggage living on my lap. Standing gives not only my butt a break, but also my shoulders, hips and back. My left hand is red and raw from the awkward grip on the chair wheel and pressure to keep me on course. I didn’t realize how uncomfortable the other parts of me where, being confined to this chair for the past 3.5 hours. My thoughts quickly go to my cousin and so many others who live their lives in wheelchairs. They can’t just choose to stand. They can’t decide life is too inconvenient or uncomfortable in their chair. They aren’t allowed to get tired of it.

This week I met a new coworker and over dinner she heard the story of my pregnancies, David’s deployments and all the challenges we faced during those years. She marveled at what we had been through and said “I will never again complain about raising my 20 month old, while we both enjoy our health and my husband comes home every night.” It was a sweet comment, but the truth is, she will. Just like I swore to never take for granted my husband’s presence after years of being apart. And yet, I do. My normal now, like so many others, is normal. Everything seems stable – jobs, kids, family, friends. Yet, just 4 hours in this chair makes me think about the great health I have been given and simple freedoms I enjoy. To stand. To walk. To function in a space that is so obviously designed for those of us that take for granted our health, while those that struggle have reminders everywhere they go that this world was not made to accommodate them. I can’t help but wonder if I had been born with a disability, would I ever truly feel normal? Could I ever fully accept and embrace my difficulties, while the majority of people pass me by with a pitiful glance?

My 4 hours is a drop in a bucket, but for me, I pray that I can love a little more deeply, serve a little more quickly, and be thankful in all circumstances. 

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