This frustration with discipline is something that has been nagging me for over a year and I have yet to identify the root of the problem, except to say I am a sinful, fallen being. Discipline is something that our society views as difficult, bad or even limiting. Discipline keeps us from fulfilling our momentary desires and instead calls us to a path of restrictions and limitations. It is the antithesis of western ideals.
My other problem with discipline is that I am a parent of middle school children, who have long since moved on from sins of "don't touch that" and are showing behaviors that manifest character traits. There is no easy answer for the son who is just being sullen and rude and mean. There is no easy answer for the daughter who is extraordinarily self-absorbed. Call me if you know what to do with the bright child who refuses to do homework and turn it in on time! These aren't single occurrence issues and rarely are the offenses earth shattering. They are small comments, slights, and acts of defiance. Some of this is simply the natural process of growing up and testing new boundaries of independence. And some of it requires parental input and consequences. Like me, my children view discipline as a negative, a restriction (like of TV or video games or hanging out with friends).
But this is not the view of discipline of elite athletes, of philosophers or of scripture. In arenas where excellence is expected and pursued, discipline is seen as one of the single most impactful equipping characteristics of an individual.
David Brooks writes in "The Road to Character", "You have to surrender to something outside of yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer your desire to get what you crave." Later he continues, "The essential drama of life is the drama to construct character, which is an engraved set of disciplined habits, a settles disposition to do good."
The author of Hebrews writes "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." (Heb 12:11) and in Proverbs 3:12, Hebrews 12:6 and Revelation 3:19, it says that the Father disciplines whom He loves. The idea here is that discipline is in itself a good thing, bringing about peaceful fruit and this desirable result is for those whom God loves. But most of the time we view discipline as hard and bad - not peaceful.
In Galatians 5:1, Paul writes "It is for freedom Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery." Here we clearly see the biblical perspective (which is not surprisingly the opposite of the world) where sin is slavery. Abandonment to our urges and desires, doing whatever we want to do is actually a form of slavery - a yoke - something that has us bound and unable to make the adjustments we want to make. Freedom, is living under God's order for our lives.; submitting ourselves to His discipline and His standards and His will. Tim Keller gives the image of a fish - a fish freed from water is not free, he is dead. True freedom is to live as we were made to live, embracing the natural order established for. Discipline, is submitting ourselves to the better order for our lives. Restricting those things that lead to our ill and pursuing those things that lead to our benefit.
This may not sound that earth shattering to you, but the implications in day to day life are actually pretty uncommon. What if I pursued the carrot instead of the cheeseburger? What if I viewed the carrot as a reward, a blessing, the peaceful fruit (or vegetable) of a life well lived? What if I was excited each morning I woke up as another day to exercise? What if I saw joy in my training, because the training was making me more of who I was meant to be, rather than the potato shaped lump under a blanket on the couch reading a book?
What if I chased after God's word and opened it with the same frequency I opened Facebook or read the news on my phone? What if I spent as much time memorizing scripture as I did watching Netflix?
Peter Deiwert, writes on the back of the Crossfit workout journal, "Common is expecting things to be given to you rather than embracing the joy of hard work." In his latest blog about succeed in the Whole Life Challenge, he writes, "Mental toughness is the discipline to take small steps consistently, towards a larger goal." We are to embrace the hard work with joy, moving consistently towards the bigger goal. In this there is fruit we can see and experience and enjoy.
Discipline is the small daily acts that together form a picture of our character - our true self. It is the little lies in our heads that move us further and further from who we were made to be, to the common ground of mediocrity, apathy, and resignation to a lesser life. Lies might include: "That's too hard" or "It's only one piece of chocolate" or "Everyone else...." or "I've been so good today" or "But I deserve this". These lies give us permission to depart from the road we truly want to walk and drift towards the middle ground of nothingness. We become a fish out of water, flopping around on the land, knowing that we aren't where we belong and that we were made for more. We begin to look at all the moments we gave into our desires or moments we gave up trying as failures and regrets. In hindsight, those choices to give into the lesser desire of the moment looks dull and grey, instead of shiny and exciting as it did at the time.
Discipline is not some grand statement about summiting our personal Everest. It isn't a huge fork in the road or monumental decision. Discipline is exercised in a thousand little decisions every day, pursuing our best (or His best for us) rather than being swayed by our environment, emotions and circumstances. Discipline is a single step. Just one. One step on the narrow path, followed by another, and another, until one day you look and you are standing at the top of your mountain. Discipline has the mental fortitude to engage in this moment as both a singular moment in time and as a part of the grand design of life all at the same time. You can say to yourself, I choose to desire the greater thing in this moment, not because it is what necessarily feels the best or is even what I want, but because the greater thing is worth more than whatever reward, treat, rest, that I am being pulled towards now.
On March 11th, I give you all permission to ask me how the challenge went. But even more than that, I invite you to ask me how yesterday went - because the challenge is not accomplished in a grand moments, but the 33,868,800 moments along the way.
Thankfully we are not alone in this. Paul writes to Timothy, "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and self-discipline." (2 Tim 1:7) We were made to live a life of self-discipline. This is God's desire for our best and for His glory. May it be true of me.
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